Tips for Controlling and Expressing Anger

July 26, 2022

Anger is a perfectly normal and healthy emotion, but it is crucial that you express it in a calm, constructive way. Uncontrolled outbursts will negatively affect both your mental health and your relationships. Continue reading as I discuss tips for controlling and expressing anger in healthy, positive ways.   

Focus on Breathing

When angry, our breathing often becomes shallow and rapid. One of the best ways to deescalate your feelings of anger is to focus on your breathing—take longer, deeper, slower breaths. If you find yourself struggling to concentrate, try closing your eyes. Shutting your eyes will push out additional stimuli and allow you to focus.

Think Before You Speak

Most of us have said something in the heat of the moment that we later regret. Aggressive outbursts are often the product of a situation we are not in control of. Instead of reacting out of anger, take a moment and remember that there are consequences to our actions and words. Ask yourself this: Am I about to say something I will later regret or feel guilty about? If so, it is okay to say, “I need a minute to myself” and take the time to think about a clear-headed response.

Write in a Journal

Journaling, for many, has become their safe, non-judgmental space to vent. Not only are you able to release your true feelings, but with a personal journal, you’re also able to express those feelings without hurting anyone else. And without having a safe space to let out emotions, one is more susceptible to an emotional outburst in the form of yelling or other aggressive behaviors.

Repeat a Calming Mantra

Find a mantra that resonates with you and helps you feel calm. Repeat that word or phrase again and again to yourself whenever you sense anger bubbling up. A few great examples are “Relax”, “I’m okay”, or “This will pass”.  It is up to you whether you want to say it internally or walk away from the situation and say it out loud.

Express Yourself

Once you feel you are calm and thinking clearly, it is time to express your anger in an assertive, but nonconfrontational way. Anger is a healthy emotion to feel and can also be productive, if expressed in a constructive way. Should you find yourself struggling to control your anger on your own, it may be time to reach out to the professionals.

Contact Laurie Grengs Counseling for guidance.