Sabrina woke up to blood pooled under buttocks. She had passed out from the pain. She had screamed till “they” put a needle in her arm. She quickly fell into a deep dark hole of lost awareness. Needles were common in the cult, for every child was drugged repeatedly to create a numbness that shut down each childs’s spirit. The soul of each child in the Cult was wanted for nourishment, for the cult wanted souls for their salvation. Yet salvation for the adults in the Satanic cult was how to keep feeding the darkness of hell in every adult member of that Cult by suffocating the soul and spirit of each and every child.
Sabrina was pregnant again. It was her fifth pregnancy as a teen in a cult that was determined to kill any hope for life. One of Sabrina’s pregnancy’s was allowed to go full term, where her child was sacrificed with Sabrina’s hands forced to hold the butcher knife. Sabrina sobbed and fought her parents hold on her physically to put the knife into the heart of her new born child.
At this time Sabrina was losing a hold on consciousness and contemplating how to turn the knife on herself. She prayed for the strength to fight her parents hold on her hands and body to force the sacrifice of her newly born baby, yet Sabrina knew that only her own death would stop this hell on Earth. So the planning of her own death took on an immediacy that she would never share with anyone until psychotherapy. Trauma was Sabrina’s existence and she now needed to be out of it no matter what it meant for her life. The end had come for she could not face one more moment of rape, torture, and worst of all the death of a human being that was born from her body.
To stop Sabrina from her freedom to choose to take her own life, she was put in a coffin and the nails were pounded into the top to stop her pounding her fists to push the top open. Yet quickly her strength to pound on the cover of the coffin gave way to screaming at the spiders and mice put in the coffin with her. Her hell had taken a turn that was beyond anything she had access to within her own soul to pull her through. Thus her escape through her plan at killing herself as soon as possible, was interrupted. Yet the plan was taking a turn for could she get out of the coffin before she was biten by the spiders and mice? No, the spiders were biting her and the coffin top was opened quickly and a large piece of material with a disdaining smell was shoved in her mouth. If she got out of the coffin, she was going to get every child out of that house and turn the kerosene lamps over to burn the house down. Yet as she reached for a nail to grab on to rip with all her strength, she knew she was at the end.