When Sabrina presented in psychotherapy with me, her psychologist, she was experiencing great difficulty with her sexual relationship with her husband. We discussed marriage therapy as an option. She described that intercourse with her husband was always physically painful. She also described little to no feelings of wanting to be sexual with her husband and she could only achieve orgasms if she would fantasize being raped or tortured. All of Sabrina’s current experience of her sexuality had been emotionally and neurologically tied to violence.
Sabrina in her psychotherapy to deal with her childhood trauma, would describe childhood memories that were coming to her more rapidly after she turned the age of 38. The memories were often piecemeal, yet as she would share more as the therapy went on, the pieces of her memories turned into complete sequences of her experiences in the Satanic Cult she was born into in this lifetime. As I began with her as my client, I was very intentional in creating a safe therapeutic relationship with her. I achieved that by not judging her or questioning her memories. I asked questions of her in the therapy only to assist her to continue to have her past unfold, so Sabrina would have the opportunity to emotionally and spiritually heal.
Sabrina would report deep regret at not being emotionally and physically able to connect with her husband. She sensed that her husband was having great difficulty dealing with her sexual absence in their marriage. He would, at times, burst out in anger at her lack of need for him sexually. She would engage in sexual intercourse with her husband in hope that doing so would awaken her dead feelings and hope that could reach her husband to let him know how very much she did love him. Communicating with words to her husband about her memories and subsequent sexual struggles were falling on deaf ears. This frightened and concerned Sabrina deeply for she feared the worst, she may lose her husband. Sabrina knew that her husband was lost in his own emotional pain from his past and was not allowing his own healing to progress.
As Sabrina described the memories of her past, in her psychotherapy, I would encourage her to create a multi dimensional sense of support. I would talk with her about all dimensions of the the loving universe are here to assist her. In teaching her to trust herself and draw from her own heart and soul, she could access what she would want and need to uplift her as she would face into her past.