Sabrina, as she deepened her committment to her psychotherapy, knew facing her past was the only manner for her to be fully in the present. Her knowing of this process was deep in her soul. Sabrina had awakened to the realization that the only way to freedom now from her past was to face the abyss of darkness that permeated her memories. How was she going to walk into the abyss? For Sabrina was agonizing. How do I face what I so nearly did not survive? Her fear was rising into her everyday awareness and now there was no escape. Cages, hangings, death by gun point, and torture by night were in the abyss for her to face and she knew that “slaying these dragons” that “were ravaging her countryside” was to be done with courage. Courage is fear saying its prayers.
Here is where Sabrina’s connection with Jesus was becoming the resource that she would need as she entered into the abyss. As her trauma psychologist, I taught her that taking her resources with her into the abyss would enable her to slay the dragon and bring home the head. Bringing home the head of the dragon, would symbolize a step of facing the dark memories of her childhood and allowing an aspect of her past to be set free. One step at a time by taking her resources with her, Sabrina would walk with her past surrounded by an empowerment that would assist her to move beyond the horrors of her birth into the Satanic Ritualistic Abusive Cult.
Often upon arriving to a psychotherapy session Sabrina would be shivering and shaking. She was experiencing the feelings of terror that she knew so well in her years of torture and rape in the cult. She would ask me, “How do I cope with these deep feelings that come to me as I arrive to the therapy session?” My response was, “By going into your body and reporting out to me the thoughts, feelings, images, sounds, and/or feelings as you move into the terror you hold in your body?” Sabrina would look at me and start to cry. I can’t do it. She would weep with sorrow that would shake her body to a depth of grief that a cult survivor would know all to well.