In counseling circles, the term ‘triangling’ is becoming more common. It describes a phenomenon with which we are all familiar: You have a conflict with one person, but rather than address it openly with that person, you seek a third person and share your thoughts and feelings with that person. This can lend a feeling of stability to your emotional state at that moment, but it does not address the long-term issues that may become much more complicated with the person you have the conflict with.
It may seem like a waste of time to examine the larger social dynamics that make the process of triangling so prevalent, but it seems to be in our own best interests to address why we engage in the process of triangling. It seems to be that we value the minimizing of difficulty, which could be why we seek that third party to communicate our feelings of conflict with the other person involved in the conflict. But we are fooling ourselves if we believe that triangling solves the original problem. The initial satisfaction of sharing feelings with another person creates the illusion of problem-solving, but that is exactly what it is—an illusion of solving the problem.
How To Find Harmony
To say that we value healthy relationships with others, but to act oppositely to that stated value is known as ‘cognitive dissonance.’ Cognitive dissonance is a very common occurrence in the human experience. Who knows why it happens? But the reality is that it does happen. Laurie Grengs can help you understand the underlying features of your propensity for cognitive dissonance, and when you become aware of the underlying causes, you become better able to turn cognitive dissonance into cognitive consonance. In other words, once you understand that you have been acting in ways that are contradictory to your hoped-for results, you are in a much better position to find harmony (consonance) in your life.
Navigating relationships with the people in our lives can be extremely difficult, and there are times when we find ourselves thinking that we can do no more than we have already done, and it is then obvious that the person with whom we are in conflict must begin the process of doing some hard work too. We can only do so much. Being positively and kindly challenged to be more honest with ourselves—the kind of warm confrontation provided by Laurie Grengs—can help unlock some of the answers to our lifelong questions as they pertain to our relationships with others.
Laurie Grengs Can Help You Connect With Others
Laurie Grengs can help you process these feelings, look inward, and help you find ways to really connect with those individuals who are important in your life. Call her at 1-(877) 572-2326 for more information or to schedule an appointment.