Elizabeth and Thomas arrived at my office at the specified time for their appointment. Elizabeth was crying as she entered the session, her husband standing at her side. She bent over and slid onto the couch in my office and wept.
Thomas, her husband, said to me their psychologist and marriage therapist, she has been crying like this since “it happened” a month ago. I do not know what to do. That is why I called you for an appointment.
He was referring to, what he described on the phone, as her waking up in the middle of the night screaming “get off of me”. Elizabeth had been raped by her brother, nine years her senior, from ages 2 to 7. A month ago the memories were flooding into her dreams. The night terrors had started and she was having difficulty getting to work. Her work, she described in that first session, was her “passion” and gave her extraordinary meaning. Yet her career was slipping away in the last month. All her dreams of taking her professional career to the next level were evaporating. She had lived her life, including her career, with the spiritual intention of abundance and service, yet these intentions which were a mainstay for over a decade, were dying in her heart.
Thomas was looking at the floor most of that initial session with stunned eyes. He teared up several times and was wringing his hands when Elizabeth was telling the memories of the many nights her brother would enter her bedroom, muffle her mouth and subsequently penetrate her vaginally. As Elizabeth looked at me through her tears, she asked is there hope? I emphatically said yes. For you are here asking for help and I know how to assist you to face, feel and free yourself of the emotional pain of the rape of your body and subsequently of your heart and soul.
Freedom is the goal. I told her of my many years of successfully assisting many trauma survivors in my psychology practice. I suggested to her and her husband to research me at my website www.lauriegrengs.com and my informational blog at www.attainingloveandjoy.com. This was the beginning of their journey into heaven on earth. Elizabeth’s husband, Thomas, was holding her waist as he said “I am in on this journey with my wife”. “I want freedom for our marriage and myself. I love my wife and I am scared”.
The next topic in that first session we discussed is empowerment of each of them as they would proceed in the psychotherapy process. How were they going to face how to feel about the past coming into their present life uninvited? My teaching had started. We discussed resources and with enough resources spiritually, and psychologically, they could face anything. For the many times Elizabeth had discussed being raped, she was not free of the horror. The Three F’s were now the journey. For Elizabeth to cope and survive the trauma of her childhood she had had to store the memories away in her body. Her brain was holding the memories in its neurotransmitter pathways and her heart was holding the feelings deep in the crevasses of the energetic space of her heart.
Elizabeth said to me in this session, why? How come it cannot just stay buried forever?
The gift I shared with Elizabeth and Thomas was the energy used to store the memories has taken away from Elizabeth having all her internal resources freed up for her driving passion of love for her husband and her career, as she described as a vocation. The extraordinary energy that was holding the trauma would be opened through psychotherapy and released for an energetic and spiritual avenue for Elizabeth’s to realize her intentions for her life.
She, Elizabeth, became a brain surgeon against all odds. She grew up in an inner city of a northern state. Both parents’ alcoholic, Elizabeth’s paternal grandmother stepped in and cared for her emotional and educational well-being from high school forward.
Elizabeth’s grandmother had died when she was in college, pre-med. That is where she met Thomas, also a pre-med student. Elizabeth promised her grandmother upon her death bed; with everything she had she would finish college and go to medical school.
I asked Elizabeth, how did you keep the promise to your grandmother? She said, “Resources”. I meditated, prayed, and kept telling myself, “I want to ensure my grandmother’s commitment to me was not made in vain”.
Thus resources had assisted her to this point and resources will take her to her freedom, with her husband at her side. Elizabeth’s dream that she and her husband shared was to live in a third world country and start a medical facility that would service women that had trauma in their history. For little did she know Elizabeth’s past was creating her future of love and joy.