The healthiest marriages go through occasional difficulty. Less-than-healthy marriages experience difficulty of a more intense and frequent nature. Couples who experience relationship difficulty, however intensely or frequently, have very likely not been adequately prepared for responding to that difficulty. Laurie Grengs, of Coon Rapids, MN, is an experienced therapist who offers marriage counseling to couples who are looking for a way to create higher levels of consciousness, which in turn can lead to better ways of responding to relationship conflict.
Laurie Grengs has practiced relationship counseling for over thirty-five years, helping countless people heal from emotional trauma, unhealthy thought patterns, and a myriad of behavioral issues. All of factors are capable of presenting themselves in the context of the committed relationship. And Laurie Grengs works with couples to help identify the underlying causes of relationship issues and build on better patterns.
The complexity of relationships means that there are almost never quick fixes or easy solutions. Couples who are committed to their relationship must commit to working hard to address and eventually fix the problems that build up between them. But though it is true that there are almost never quick fixes and easy solutions, it is helpful to take small steps so that small wins can have a chance to develop into new and healthier patterns.
Making Your Relationship Healthier
Laurie Grengs offers seven tips for making your relationship healthier. Her first recommendation is to always act from a place of love. Engage in behaviors that encourage better communication. For example, if one or both of you have a penchant for becoming hostile or aggressive when consuming alcohol, acting out of love would determine that it is in your best interests to curb that habit.
Next, when communicating with your partner, make sure you use “I” statements. Avoid accusatory statements along the lines of, “YOU make me feel X,” or “YOU always do Y.” Concentrate on describing how your partner’s behavior makes you feel.
Then, listen to your partner with no agenda in mind. In other words, do not try to “win.” If one of you “wins,” the other has to lose. But you are in a partnership, so if one of you loses, it pulls both of you down.
Take time to do things that give you relief from the difficulty with your partner. For some, it may be shopping, and for others it may be sports or gardening. You should find a way to feel relief, but remember to come back to your partner when you’ve recharged your energy to work on your issues.
Be open and share your daily experiences with your partner. And finally, empathize with your partner. And remember that Laurie Grengs will help you every step of the way as you try to solve the problems in your relationship.
Laurie Grengs specializes in relationship therapy and can help you and your partner find a more healthy balance. If you would like more information about making an appointment with Laurie, call (763) 572-2326 for more information.