Laurie Grengs has practiced couples counseling for over thirty-five years in the Ham Lake, MN area, and has helped many people get their relationships and marriages back to a healthier state. She works with couples to identify the underlying causes of relationship issues and create better and healthier patterns.
Even the most stable of marriages experience periodic turmoil, or at least prolonged disagreement. Long term relationships and marriages that are not so healthy go through difficulty more often and likely with more intensity. It is almost certain that people experiencing marital problems of varying duration and intensity have not been trained to respond to those problems—we live in a society that values the fairytale more than the realities of relationships, and we tend to avoid conflict, rather than confronting it head-on. The good news for people in need of marriage counseling is that there are professionals like Laurie Grengs, who is based in Coon Rapids and also serves Ham Lake, MN. Laurie has the training and wisdom to share with people who are less prepared for the realities of marriage when the fairytale begins to show its limitations.
Experienced Couples Counselor, Ham Lake
Relationships are too complex to respond well to quick fixes. They typically require more patience and persistence. People who are committed to their relationships must also commit to doing the hard work necessary to identify and, with luck and hard work, improve their relationships. Taking small steps to creating a healthier relationship require more reluctant people to take what may seem to be a huge step in seeking marriage counseling, but with someone like Laurie Grengs, you are likely to look back on that step as one of the easiest steps you’ve ever taken.
Laurie Grengs recommends a number of things to consider before entering into a counseling relationship. She recommends first that you commit to acting from the love you have for your partner. Engage in behaviors that encourage better communication. If, for example, you have a tendency to exhibit hostility, aggression, or a lack of patience with your spouse, Laurie would encourage you to consider the effect of your expression on your spouse and possibly change it.
Steps To A Healthy Relationship
When communicating with your partner, use “I” statements. Instead of taking the shortcut to say things like, “You did this to make me angry,” try something like, “When you drink, I feel scared,” or “When you yell at me, I feel devalued and dispensable.”
Then, try to remove any agenda from your approach to the conflict. Trying to “win” a fight with your spouse means you’re competing with each other. But if you have a mutual goal in mind of creating greater peace between you, competition really has no place. If you win, your spouse has to lose. But if you are mutually engaged in finding a better solution, both of you can “win.”
Next, engage in activities outside of your relationship. Even an evening out once or twice a month with friends can give you relief from the stress you’ve been experiencing in your relationship. Be open and share your daily experiences with your partner. And of course always try to be empathic toward your partner.
Call Laurie at 1-(877) 572-2326 to learn more or to schedule an appointment.