It started for her when she looked into the eyes of each of her parents as she was being wrapped in a blanket moments after her birth. She thought, “Oh no!”.
She was born to parents who were active members of a Satanic Ritualistic Abusive Cult. She sensed something was terribly wrong. Her parents eyes were dark. The abuse started immediately.
Routinely she was taken with other children to a house were human sacrifices were a daily occurrence. Where beatings and rapes were the everyday happenings of all the children, including herself. As she looked back in her journey in psychotherapy, reconnecting to what was began to flood into her consciousness daily after age 38. She had been in psychotherapy since age 22 and had struggled deeply with the extraordinary emotional pain that was with her every day of her life. She, Sabrina (name changed for her privacy) had often asked herself why me?
From this point on, I will refer to her as Sabrina. Upon leaving and escaping her home life, Sabrina entered college after high school. A year after beginning her collegiate career, she met a man whom she deeply loved. Sabrina left college and married. For her this choice was taking an empowered step to free herself more from the ties of the cult she was raised in from birth.
Shortly after marrying, Sabrina began to experience feelings of shock. She spent days and hours sitting in an over stuffed chair, that allowed her to look out the window at the cars passing by. She would often count the cars that were passing by on a fairly busy street in front of the apartment she was living in with her husband. Sabrina spent five years staring out the window.
She grappled deeply with what had happened to her as a child. The horror of it all was overwhelming for her. Her memories were foggy. Sabrina felt confused often about how to deal the shock and terror as the fog was lifting ever so slightly day by day. Sabrina after two years of marriage, sought out a psychologist.
It was a very disappointing experience. As a result, Sabrina withdrew from the idea of psychotherapy helping her sort out the pain she was experiencing emotionally. She returned to college taking one class a quarter to try to put her life together in a manner that would make sense to her.
As her psychologist, I began to work with Sabrina in psychotherapy weekly starting 25 years ago. You may visit my website at www.lauriegrengs.com to view what resources may be available to you the reader, if anything similar may have happened to you. As a result of this traumatic abuse, Sabrina has needed extensive marital and couples therapy.