In childhood each of the people in this marriage had not had their connection to their heart and soul nourished. They each longed as they grew into adulthood of a deep connection with themselves and others.
I, as their marriage therapist and psychologist, suggested we explore how their feelings are and were dealt with within their own hearts, i.e. how did each of the two feel and express feelings. We began this journey.
The journey back from estrangement in a marriage involves assisting each person to grow their consciousness of their heart and soul, i.e. Erica and Paul are beginning to do with me in marriage therapy.
Erica had deeply buried the emotional pain of being sexually abused. She described years of attempts to numb her feelings through self-hate and deep depressive episodes, in hopes it would keep the throbbing memories of rape from her father from her mind. Erica was repeatedly raped by her father as a child. She, Erica, woke up often in the night as a child to the smell of her Father’s breath and his hands reaching under her nightwear to put his fingers in her vagina.
Erica would scream silently and hold her breath as the touch of her father brought up a deep sense of betrayal and disgust.
Paul, as a child, would walk into the house after school as an eight year old. His parents worked late and his older brother of five years was always there. Paul often would say “Hi” to his brother and then the fist of brother’s hand would find its way into his stomach. Paul would fall over onto the floor in horror.
More will follow about the journey out of darkness for Erica and Paul and into the light.