Having survived being born to the cult, Sabrina had extraordinary difficulty maintaining and sustaining loving relationships. She often expressed in psychotherapy “Who would love me?” Sabrina struggled deeply with feeling she was evil. How else, she would often say in therapy, do I explain how this horror happened to me? It must be something about me that caused all this death and destruction.
Sabrina’s willingness to persist at developing a therapeutic bond with me, as her psychologist, is a testimony to Sabrina’s determination to find the healing she so desparately needed. Yet this struggle to attach to me her psychologist was so very difficult.
Attachment was a core feature of Sabrina’s stuggles emotionally and psychologically. As a child, she had no experience of positive attachment to a nuturing adult. This left her feeling lonely and incomplete. One goal of her psychotherapy is for her to be able to form a positive therapeutic bond with me, her psychologist, which would allow her to enter into the dark corners of her mind that were fed lies by the brainwashing of the cult. Sabrina reaching into herself, with the guidance of her psychologist, assisted her to challenge the lies of the belief system of the Satanic Ritualistic Abusive Cult.
As Sabrina looked into her heart and soul in the process of bonding with me, she began to feel a sense of knowing. Knowing that there is something beyond feeling evil and constantly beseiged with enormous sense of guilt and shame.